Monday, October 24, 2011

The Dean of Clean: Cleaning School is in SESSION!: Swiffer or Toddler: Dusting Blinds

The Dean of Clean: Cleaning School is in SESSION!: Swiffer or Toddler: Dusting Blinds: Dusting.Blinds.Sucks. But you have to do it. The best way is start at the top and work your way down. Use a dry microfiber cloth. I do ...

Swiffer or Toddler: Dusting Blinds

Dusting.Blinds.Sucks. But you have to do it. The best way is start at the top and work your way down. Use a dry microfiber cloth. I do not, repeat, DO NOT suggest you wet the blind unless they are all nasty. I'm talking GAGAZOLA. Spraying them with some wet cleaning solution will just make extra work if your blinds are just plain if you have been frying more chicken than the Colonel, then you may have to whip out an all purpose cleaner or degreaser...I PITY THA FOOL! You can also use the following to dry dust your blinds: Your Toddler ----because they will think it's fun!!! to inhale 3 year old dust mites...think of it as family game time, and as a bonus you may get a nap after you chug a little antihistamine to stop the sneezing, just be sure to lock all doors to keep the kid from wandering off while you snooze. Feather Duster---because you're old school. Swiffer Duster-- because you are new school. Used Fabric Softer Sheet---because you're broke/cheap/frugal/broke...or if you are a rich show off, use a new off! The holidays are coming up, and you don't want you brother's nosy wife to be rubbing all up on your blinds calling you a Flilthy Fool. Ok, that wouldn't bother me one iota, but if it bothers you that much, just go buy new blinds. Happy Scrubbing!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Blah, Blah, Blood

Blood stains are yucky...ok. The best way to get them out without using expensive products is using good old fashioned HYDROGEN PEROXIDE. Pour a cap full...or more (if you were in a serious bar fight/ family t-ball night beat down with your ex-husband's new girlfriend, that skank!!!) on the spot let it soak for about 5 minutes depending on the fabric and how long the blood has been on the fabric. You may not want to do this with that silk scarf you "borrowed" from a large retailer and plan to return after your cross-eyed cousin's wedding. Seriously, the girl is lucky she found that water-buffalo of husband, but that don't mean you should actually have to buy a scarf for the blessed union of chubb and ugly. The peroxide may leave a hole in the silk as big as your sister's husband's head...GINORMOUS. Just sayin....

Peroxide works great on cotton. Make sure you test an inconspicuous spot, first.

Stop buying all those $5 bottles of blood removers...they are probably just peroxide anyway. Go to your local drugstore/dollar store, and stock up on HYDROGEN PEROXIDE...but don't get too much, the Feds may think you're running a meth lab in your mini-van.

Happy Scrubbing,


Kicking It Old School : Lemon Pledge

I'm from Montgomery, Alabama. In the Deep South, you basically have one kind of furniture polish, Lemon Pledge. That's what folks in the South call it. Pledge can be used to clean wood, granite, and stainless steel.

If you have a brand new stainless appliance, you may want to check your manufacturer's instructions on cleaning before you Lemon Pledge your new Fridgy Fridge to hell and back.

Lemon Pledge never disappoints on wood tables! It leaves a nice smooth finish and fresh smell. For maximum shine, use a micro-fiber cloth, and clean your furniture every other week.

Happy Scrubbing,


P.S. Make sure to ask your Grandma if that table that you're oozing up with Lemon Pledge is some Antiques Roadshow caliber'd hate yourself if you just Pledged away your inheritance!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Coffee Filters: The Best .Thing. Ever!

Are you wondering how to clean windows, mirrors, and glass top tables without all those crazy streaks?

Use coffee filters! Coffee filters are made of magic paper particles ( just's the weave of the paper) that leave glass surfaces streak-free. I like to use Windex with my filters. A big bundle of them cost about $1.50...and they are good for about 75-100 cleanings. I like to use 2 for bathroom mirrors. They are more economical than paper towels and they won't leave your hands all inky like newspaper.

If you're spring cleaning your windows, you'll probably have to use a lot, but just think...if you do it right, you won't have to do it again until next year!

Happy Scrubbing,


Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Magic Eraser is your friend!

There is no better product on the market to do your dirty work than the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser! This product has saved me more time and effort than anything I ever used. It is a block of cleaning lady love. You can buy the store brand, but they tear much easier and wear out quicker than the Magic Eraser. You don’t need extra cleaners, and you can use a little vinegar and warm water for eco-friendly funk fighting!
I have no idea what kind of science went into making the dang thing, but I can tell you this, THAT BAD BOY IS MAGIC! If you have funky, yucky, gunky baseboard, run a damp Magic Eraser on it and KAPOW...the funk is gone! Love me some Magic Eraser.
If you don't have one, go get one or a four pack. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

Happy Scrubbing!
Tange, The Dean of Clean

P.S. I have not been paid, coerced, bribed or loved on by the makers of the Magic Eraser, but if they wanna hook a sister up, that is a whole nother hunk of funk...

Welcome to the Dean of Clean!

I'm Tangela. I'm a speaker, comedian, and cleaning expert! This blog is dedicated to all things clean! I'll offer practical solutions to your biggest cleaning problems! And I'll share some of the most BIZZARE and FUNNY stories from my life as a cleaning lady!

Feel free to post your questions and I'll do my best to answer!

Happy Scrubbing!